Malik Duffie, CPC

SELF IMAGE
How you see yourself

SELF ACCEPTANCE
The acceptance of the total self including the shadow.

SELF COMPASSION
Coping skills such as jogging, listening to music, eating ice cream etc.

SELF WORTH/WORTHINESS
Your own measure of your worthiness in terms of love and connection as opposed to not being worthy of love & connection.

THE PILLARS OF SELF WORTH
"I am enough"  as I am; without any friends, or family, or money. And I am worthy of love, connection and belonging. I don't need to earn love or respect because I am worthy of all of that without anything external, without any money. I am enough.

"I deserve" love & respect, and connection. I deserve Belongingness. I am entitled to the same love and respect as anybody else despite the color of my skin, or my title. I deserve what I am worth....And my worth is invaluable.

"I matter" I'm important, my ideas are important, what I think matters, what I feel matters, my opinion matters. My voice makes a difference in this world. Even if I make a mistake that mistake was needed in order to bring more clarity to the situation at hand.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND BELONGING
(Non negotiable Self - Worth, & Self Presence)  The practice of Authentic Integrity in the face of rejection, and invalidation.

UNCONDITIONAL SELF LOVE   The total acceptance of, self care, self appreciation, acknowledgement,  validation, and understanding of both our shadow side, and the self we want everyone to see day to day.

BELONGING Our Non negotiable value, or worth.  It's not to be weighed or compared to other people's values, or judgments...It is self worth that cannot be bargained, or traded in for fitting in with the Popular Crew. It is a worth that doesn't look for or need approval from others. Uncompromising Individuality in the face of rejection from others.

SELF VALUE How we go about honoring our self worth. It is our ability to set boundaries for ourselves. Our ability to hold people accountable for not honoring our values. Practicing Self Value is where we ask ourselves, "Are my current actions aligned with my own sense of self worth?"

SELF CONFIDENCE The complete faith and trust in your ability to Express your self, and get your point across. It's the belief that you are able to effectively communicate. Because you have sufficient skills, and you developed them through training and practice.

SELF RESPECT/DIGNITY  Our ability to protect our Worthiness. Respecting our Self Worth is about:

1. Acknowledging how we feel
ex. I feel disrespected as a result of my friend not paying me back on time.

2. Validating how we feel
ex.  I have the right to feel disrespected because my friend say he would pay me back and he didn't.

ARTICULATION  The ability to express yourself. The ability to clearly and effectively express your ideas and concepts with ease.  Speaking in a clear effective manner. The ability to speak clearly without ambiguity.
In terms of self expression the gift of articulation is all about knowing what you want to say; what point you want to make than how do you want to convey that point to others.

(A) What am I really trying to say here?

(B) How should I best go about expressing this point?

(C) Why is making this point so important to me?

(D) How will I know when I have successfully made my point?

COMMUNICATION  The ability to clearly and effectively make a point without digressing from the point. Communication is about making a point, and Articulating is about expressing that point through the use of certain words, tones, stories, body language and so forth.

Self Expression is about being able to share my Authentic Self with others
Being able to share my WHO, in an Authentic and honest way. So that others might be able to GET ME.

Self Expression is the basis for our Personality,  and how we interact with others.